Welp - here we are.

Two weeks it's been since moving in to our new place.  We're learning what we like the most about it, and what we love, and what we thought we'd love and don't really care about -- and what we wished we'd thought of when we bought it.  Don't get me wrong.  This isn't "buyer's remorse".  There's just no way to learn everything about a home by walking through it a few times.  Especially when you're walking through it in April and May and living in it in late June.

Today makes it nine years we've been married. Can you believe it?

Here we stand amongst the lodge pines near the top of the world in Colorado last August. On that day, it felt good to be above and apart from the world, to watch the cars move along the road far away and below like toys. To break through the gloom into the sun, looking across the valley to more dramatic and more rocky Rocky Mountains, looking very much their part rocky and dramatic. To be surprised by two dogs running ahead of their owners to greet us as we hiked back down the mountain after resting at its peak. The altitude sure didn't seem to bother the dogs as much as it did me.

It'd be nice if life -- married life, especially -- was like that day's hike. Where the discomfort of altitude and hard work and weird temperature fluctuations had an obvious payoff. Where the trials and annoyances and even danger were always capped with a tangible reward. Bit life ain't like that and neither is marriage. It's better than I ever imagined and yet more of a challenge than I ever guessed it would be. All at the same time.

It's this paradox, though, that makes it so intriguing. The Catholics call it a sacrament, which is a term that many Protestants and Evangelicals are uncomfortable with because of the Catholics' failures with other sacraments. But the Catholics sure got it right on this one. Sacraments, according to their catechism, are "instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church, are efficacious signs of grace perceptible to the senses. Through them divine life is bestowed upon us."

The Catholics -- or at least their doctrine -- see marriage as part of the Church, part of building it up and a manner by which God provides a certain grace for doing so. It's a permanent and exclusive bond to be severed only by God Himself. I wish more people in the church viewed marriage as such rather than -- rather obtusely -- the beginning of a sexual and deeper romantic relationship. (A viewpoint which is the product of silly movies, books and music might I add.)

Yeah, permanence scares a lot of people, but that's only because they've been trained to think otherwise. To me permanence is reassuring even with the potential emotional risks it carries. I can never bail out of this, but then again neither can my wife. Even with all the joys of marriage, we may hurt our spouses and they may hurt us, but in the midst of the times of hurt, God changes our hearts and we're sanctified by learning not just to forgive, but also how we may avoid repeating the same hurts. In the same way, we learn from our spouses how to bring joy and fulfill God's plan to love others more than ourselves by bringing that joy. Most amazingly, in God's plan for marriage, somehow His call for selflessness intersects between husband and wife and you get a glimpse of what it's like to be in a perfectly safe and perfectly amazing relationship where giving and receiving result in the same response within your heart. It's too bad that our sinful hearts make those times too few and too far between, but it's empowering to know they do exist, even when it currently doesn't feel like it.

Tonight we'll go to an overpriced restaurant to celebrate our 9 years of wedded bliss. And even this little ritual displays a microcosm of true marriage. We're excited about the good food and romance, but in the back of my head, I wonder the best route to take and if it's wise to pay so much and whether or not the valet parking boy can drive a manual transmission. We'll think of the memories of that Saturday 9 years ago and of the fun trips we've taken and funny experiences we've had, but we also wonder what the future will bring.

Changes come and go, but our marriage will not unless by the Lord's choosing. It's a blessing to have such a godly wife, such a Proverbs 31 wife. Sure she's beautiful and smart and all the things the Hallmark cards and shallow country music songs may say, but to have a godly wife, this is a blessing above all else.

Rumor -- wild rumor, mind you, has it that the Denver Police Department may unleash a secret weapon in their battle against unruly protesters at this summer's Democratic Convention.

The secret weapon? An infrasound (subaudible) frequency that according to numerous news outlets -- brace yourself -- "debilitates a person by making them defecate involuntarily".

[silence]

This is true. The rumor I mean. Not the subject of the rumor. Of course, the people pushing this rumor this are a bunch of media-seeking kooks working for "free speech" groups.

Dubbed "The Brown Note", there's no basis for any sort of weapon according to anyone who knows anything, including (my favorite) MythBusters. (The best they could do was give people a stomach ache.) Nonetheless, it's a compelling rumor, its compellingness amplified considerably by quotes given to Fox News like this one from protestor John Doe (name changed to avoid giving him the attention he wants).

"Whether it causes someone to defecate in their pants or not, I don’t know that," said [DOE].

Never fear friends, crap cannon or not, there won't be another summer of 1968. Mostly because there won't be one Richard J. Daley running the show, but also because being beaten with nightsticks pales in comparison to filling your pants in public at the mercy of a secret government death crap ray.

[UPDATE] Defeated -- quite easily -- by the Senate Republicans.

People -- call your senators and tell them to oppose S. 3044 aka the "Consumer-First Energy Act of 2008". Why? Because it's a steaming pile of punitive tax crap.